100 Word Challenge week 6
The swamp
I am running with my treasured pocket watch in my hands, when my feet slip out from beneath me. The pocket watch slips from my grasp and goes sailing away from my outstretched hands plunging into a swamp. "No!" I wailed.
My treasured pocket watch was now about to get ruined. I jumped in after it, my clothes weighing me down to the bottom of the swamp. I snatched my pocket watch and tried to reach the surface. With one great pull I heaved myself out of the swamp and lay panting on the ground.
I am running with my treasured pocket watch in my hands, when my feet slip out from beneath me. The pocket watch slips from my grasp and goes sailing away from my outstretched hands plunging into a swamp. "No!" I wailed.
My treasured pocket watch was now about to get ruined. I jumped in after it, my clothes weighing me down to the bottom of the swamp. I snatched my pocket watch and tried to reach the surface. With one great pull I heaved myself out of the swamp and lay panting on the ground.
You have chosen some powerful language to help tell your story. I like your word choice of goes sailing, and lay panting as I really can create a visual as I read. Great job on checking over your punctuation too. Keep up the good writing.
ReplyDelete